How Irritated are You Allowed to Get at Friends?

I have this best friend. Love her to death, been through thick and thin in college and if I was a man I would have married her, but I digress. Inevitably, she makes promises to visit and then goes completely A-wall until the period of time said visit was suppossed to occur, has passed. I'm trying to think how many times this has occurred....thrice?

I do not buy the 'busy' excuse. She does not HAVE kids. She is a teacher, and last I checked, the damn schools are all CLOSED. I understand we live states away, but if that is the case, just say it. Too far, so sorry. Don't make me feel like an ASS for making three unreturned phone calls and at least 2 emails on the subject. Do not make me feel like some girl stalking some boy she just made out with and is never hearing from again.

I would like to think I'm not a huge societal reject that my own supposed 'best friend' is more than a little blowing me off. And save me the calling me AFTER New Years and telling me how sorry you are that you couldn't take 5 minutes to return a phone call. YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED.

Really.

Yes, really.

And every time you do, I just feel like a complete reject, like the girl not getting called for a prom date, like I even need any blows to the self esteem from the people that are suppossed to be there to prevent attacks on it. Please realize you do this and make an effort not to anymore, it's all I ask.

I'M STILL NOT READY FOR YOU HOLIDAY SEASON

I really think I must have fallen into a coma for half of this month because I can not wrap my head around the fact today is December 23rd. What the hell? I am still not ready for this! And I don't mean I haven't bothered to online shop during work so I have presents to put under the tree, and I don't mean I don't have a Christmas tree with ornaments half-hazardly thrown on sitting in my living room, I mean I'm not ready!

I haven't seen any of the televised Christmas specials, I only went to the mall once the day after Thanksgiving, I have yet to see a single snowflake, I haven't made any Christmas cookies, mailed any Christmas cards, felt any festiveness in my soul, nothing! I"m not ready. To top that off I can't seem to find the Christmas station I remember having on all last Christmas. I found one but it's entirely too Christian for my liking. As a non-going church member of blended Espicalpal - Lutherin faith, church = wedding/funeral and that's it. Scary place, I have some cult friends and those people scare the crap out of me. I also don't believe half of the jargon that comes out of the sermons and I think if they weren't exposed at vulnerable ages, they would not believe that crap either.

Back to my point though: Christmas: 2 days and counting. The only reason I have decorations up is because I have a 6 year old who is prime Christmas excited this year and initiated all of the decorating/tree getting and we even attempted a gingerbread house last weekend, but (aside from the fact I keep eating the reindeer)that thing is practically condemned because aparently I suck at house making and decorating.

I would also like to point out that I'm at work. Full days of work all last week and this week with the exception of Christmas day and we do get off at noon on Christmas eve. The fact I have to drag myself out of bed at 7am, put on clothes and drive to work at ALL on Christmas Eve just makes it seem like a frivilous nothingness day and way to have us all put in a full day FRIDAY because we'll have so much to catch up on. Scrooges. I see you've managed to give us the Friday after New Years off though... WTF, what is up with that? Merry F-ing Christmas rental lady from Gremlins who brings the broken Santa head to the bank to kill Billy's dog. (ok I did see that this season)

I guess I'm miffed partly is just blurring by this year and I haven't felt like I've had the chance to take advantage or enjoy it. I haven't been to any Christmas parties or anything and having them is too hurtful when people don't come so I can't do that anymore. I remember being a kid and the days taking forever to go by, I understand a little bit how excited my daughter is. I just feel somewhat sad that it's the 23rd and I am sitting at work all day and I have to come back tomorrow when my parents are coming into town and I should be there when they get there with Christmas croogle in hand dressed in a santa hat and red and green Christmas sweater with dancing reindeer and Christmas carols playing in the background. Not out at Tysons' mall scoring half off bras at Victorias Secret and crying b/c traffic sucks so bad and I still have to get stocking stuffers for the dogs.

I am really finding it odd and infuriating that so many people are here, are ok with being here, and are actually doing/requesting actual work. IT IS CHRISTMAS!! At least, I thought it was. ... this really blows.

The Body Revolts.
I have to think for a minute when people ask how old I am. I honestly still think of my mom as being mid-30's forever so for me being 30-anything sounds endlessly way too adult/old in general. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it just is true. 31. Only gets worse from here I gather. I've been complaining for quite some time at varied lengths and intances that everything I eat makes me feel sick. Well I was right. It does.
Somewhere around Thanksgiving I managed to tick off my body from some combination or eating and binge drinking and it had a revolt. I ended up in the hospital for 5 days. 5 DAYS. I've never been admitted to the hospital with anything aside from giving birth that one time, so this was all new for me. It felt a little like giving birth without all the end results. Turns out when I complained my intestines were swollen they actually were. They had to stick a tube down my throat while I was awake. I dont' recommend this to anyone. I did not eat or drink from 730AM Thursday til the following Monday afternoon. I'm still pretty impressed by that, despire the IV's keeping you alive, it is mind boggling they can do that. I thought about asking for a diet version just to take a few off since I wasn't eating anyways.
To my relief they at least think they know what my problem is. Crohn's disease. I can deal with that. Yes it sucks I'm on a diet of chicken soup, crackers and jello for a month over the Happy Holiday season of Christmas cookies and crap, but I have lost weight already and the drugs really keep me from being hungry much anyways. Leave it to me to have a major illness to take a few off. "Mono was like the best diet ever." Anyone? What movie is that from?
Aside from the slightly odd feeling my new drugs keep me in, I have a wierd metallic taste in my mouth all the time. It could be a number of things, it makes for some wierd breath. I'm not really sure what the plan of action is after my colonoscopy on the 6th (feel a little young for such procedures) but I think I may be saying goodbye to more than just coffee. Oddly, I am not really too saddened. I think part of sufferring through a tube down the throat is the gratefullness it gets taken out and you gets lot of time to perspective things, stop whining about all the petty crap in life and just deal with what is most important.
I guess I can be an adult. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

How was YOUR Thanksgiving?
Good. As all vacations, not nearly long enough. Because I am writhing in monthly agony that a dozen ibuprofins cant' seem to touch, I'll keep to my favorite parts.

Dinner for 24. Something I like about large amounts of chaos in small doses that just seems warm and fuzzy. That, and it's pretty easy to blame the fact you spilt the water from the vase all over great-grandma's tablecloth on someone else.

Snowball fights.

Mall shopping with my best friend on black Friday. I had a small anxiety issue in the dang Victorias' Secret but that place was MOBBED and they were running out of free totes by 9AM.

Dinosaur BBQ. Yummy.

My first SU basketball game at the dome. Yes, I've lived there for a good 25 years of my life and had never been previously. We tried scalping some tickets but ended up in the large box office line anyways. Drank beer steadily, and wouldn't you know it, they won!! Go Orangemen! I didn't need a reason to keep drinking all night, but thanks for giving me a good excuse.

Drunk pictures. And I promise not to throw anything else while intoxicated. I have no aim and hit the poor bartender with a paper coaster and was immediately snitched on. I swear I wasn't trying to!! Thanks for not throwing us out.

Letting mom take care of my dogs and my dishes. At least I did my own laundry.

Dunkin Donuts. They are everywhere up there. Shiny beacons of greatness.

Now lets see how many days I can go without unpacking.