I'M STILL NOT READY FOR YOU HOLIDAY SEASON

I really think I must have fallen into a coma for half of this month because I can not wrap my head around the fact today is December 23rd. What the hell? I am still not ready for this! And I don't mean I haven't bothered to online shop during work so I have presents to put under the tree, and I don't mean I don't have a Christmas tree with ornaments half-hazardly thrown on sitting in my living room, I mean I'm not ready!

I haven't seen any of the televised Christmas specials, I only went to the mall once the day after Thanksgiving, I have yet to see a single snowflake, I haven't made any Christmas cookies, mailed any Christmas cards, felt any festiveness in my soul, nothing! I"m not ready. To top that off I can't seem to find the Christmas station I remember having on all last Christmas. I found one but it's entirely too Christian for my liking. As a non-going church member of blended Espicalpal - Lutherin faith, church = wedding/funeral and that's it. Scary place, I have some cult friends and those people scare the crap out of me. I also don't believe half of the jargon that comes out of the sermons and I think if they weren't exposed at vulnerable ages, they would not believe that crap either.

Back to my point though: Christmas: 2 days and counting. The only reason I have decorations up is because I have a 6 year old who is prime Christmas excited this year and initiated all of the decorating/tree getting and we even attempted a gingerbread house last weekend, but (aside from the fact I keep eating the reindeer)that thing is practically condemned because aparently I suck at house making and decorating.

I would also like to point out that I'm at work. Full days of work all last week and this week with the exception of Christmas day and we do get off at noon on Christmas eve. The fact I have to drag myself out of bed at 7am, put on clothes and drive to work at ALL on Christmas Eve just makes it seem like a frivilous nothingness day and way to have us all put in a full day FRIDAY because we'll have so much to catch up on. Scrooges. I see you've managed to give us the Friday after New Years off though... WTF, what is up with that? Merry F-ing Christmas rental lady from Gremlins who brings the broken Santa head to the bank to kill Billy's dog. (ok I did see that this season)

I guess I'm miffed partly is just blurring by this year and I haven't felt like I've had the chance to take advantage or enjoy it. I haven't been to any Christmas parties or anything and having them is too hurtful when people don't come so I can't do that anymore. I remember being a kid and the days taking forever to go by, I understand a little bit how excited my daughter is. I just feel somewhat sad that it's the 23rd and I am sitting at work all day and I have to come back tomorrow when my parents are coming into town and I should be there when they get there with Christmas croogle in hand dressed in a santa hat and red and green Christmas sweater with dancing reindeer and Christmas carols playing in the background. Not out at Tysons' mall scoring half off bras at Victorias Secret and crying b/c traffic sucks so bad and I still have to get stocking stuffers for the dogs.

I am really finding it odd and infuriating that so many people are here, are ok with being here, and are actually doing/requesting actual work. IT IS CHRISTMAS!! At least, I thought it was. ... this really blows.