And then there was me.

I could be the only one in the office. I am the only one in this particular area today. I've seen a few others, but they could have all left by now. Obviously the day before Thanksgiving it a big go-home-see-family thing so it's more than slow. It's dead here.

To amuse myself (because I did see this coming) I've brought in a pile of the catalogs that showed up at my house yesterday. When I first moved I was frantic about getting the address changed because I really like my catalogs, they're like free magazines, and I have a thing for free. Well word has definitely gotten out and I probably receive every catalog that is put through a print press and mass-distributed.

Some catalogs are things I buy, and some are tangents from that. I have a yoga catalog I look at when I 'm stressed, I swear it helps. I also have a bunch of different out-doorsy things, which is what I seem to have here. Well, it's LL.Bean Outdoor. I didn't realize there were delineations, but aparently so. I also have REI and Title Nine, all very outdoor oriented.

Looking through these makes me realize how un-outdoorsy I am. I like the outdoors and all, but I have no need for this camp cookwear set, headlamp, knee hieght snow protective boots, or sleeping bag for temperatures below negative 20 degrees. Snowshoes? Not so much. I used to live around Syracuse, so I know what that can be like, but really, it's not so much a part of my life here. I'm not sure how I feel about not needing winter boots, ski jackets, sleds, ski equipment, car racks, winter car mats, long underware, fleece socks or fleece lined anything. Once I bought a pair of khaki's lined with fleece. I wore them to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I was not cold. Outside in NYC for over 4 hours, not cold. Unfortunately that's where the use of those pants came to a screeching hault. You could NOT wear them inside without literal sweat being drawn onto your legs. Ew.

I mean how many people actually NEED a canteen?

Today I'm feeling slightly inspired (and have time on my hands) for a special edition, 2-part blog post. Buckle your seatbelts, I have a lot of time!

Part 1: Strange Things I've Witnessed in DC.
This is inspired by the uniformed officer I saw blatently and completely J-WALK across 17th Street with styrofoam cup in hand, in rush hour traffic, cutting through cars stopped in said traffic. The irony hear would be I have a coworker that has been ticketed for actually j-walking. Special. Just special.

Other events include:
A african-american celebrates the Obama win by dancing in the streets and giving my car a LAP DANCE while I am stuck in traffic on K street. (I swear I could not make this up.)

A guy driving a Red High Heeled Shoe.

Being struck in the face on Pennsylvania Ave by a rogue window-washer rope.

A homeless lady beg for money and then pimp it out to some homeless dude in the park only to do it again the next day, and the next. Wearing different clothes each day and making me question the validity of 'homeless' going on there.

Buildings be torn down floor by floor exposing restrooms to the street.

A semi back up the down one-way ramp under the 12th street bridge because he suddenly realized he could not make clearance.

Halloween: A bill on Capitol Hill. (forever my favorite costume)

Homeless guy bathing in the fountain in front of the Smithsonian.

My friend Karl mount the Elephant in front of the Gallery Place Metro stop after a Christmas party.

Strangers crash our company Christmas party and then ask where the after-party is.

People wearing suits and ties or skirts/work dresses riding bikes.

Street performers get territorial and attempt to 'sabatage' the other party.

I'm sure some of you can top me, but I don't go out all that often and I'm sure there is more fun admist at night!

Part 2: A Letter to our Building Architect.
Dear Archictect,
I know we've only been in this space for 6 months, but as far as I can tell, the design of this building and it's access kind of sucks. It sucks because when I come to work the garage is a labrynth in and of itself. Some spots you have to leave your key, some you don't, some are for certain companies employees, some aren't, and there are numerous doors, stairwells, entries and exits and levels that all have different access times. It's a wonder I have not locked myself in the garage or a stairwell for more than the 4 hours I once did.
It also sucks because once I park somewhere and find some sort of portal to the upper world, it will come with an industrial staircase. There is ONE elevator servicing 3 main office buildings all attached to the ONE garage. This one and only magic elevator is hidden and impossible to find without a map and holds 4 people max and is not near any one of the 3 main office buildings. Craziness or fairness? Who knows.
It sucks because when I walk up the stairwell closest to my office building, I have to walk up 4 sets of stairs and enter some swinging metal gate that bangs loudly despite the diaper wad of duct tape on it. Nice touch. It sucks because the only way to cut down on half of those stairs is to go outside a side door and immediately back in through a different side door to access an elevator bank. Minimum doors opened : 4 plus one metal gate and 2 flights of stairs. However, the kicker is you can't avoid them on the way back because that side door you exited from can not be opened from the other side. OH what fun!! So you MUST take 4 flights of stairs down, through 4 doors and one gate on the way back no matter what.
Aparently the building access was designed with more of the metro rider in mind. Although, they are not immune to the quirks because we have to have this key card to access the doors to the office so depending on where you sit in the office, how mandatory carrying this around is. For me, i can not leave my seat without it because the bathrooms are on the outside of those magic locking doors. We've also discovered we have a great rooftop deck but although you can get out, you can't get back in. (I'm glad we tested this before just walking out completely.)
And oddly enough, you need your key card to open the garage doors once they close after hours - not your garage opener- and only the ones on K street will open at all after hours.
All in all, it's really the access in and out of this place that is a giant pain in the ass. It should at least come with some sort of pamphlet and a map to navigate, and a compass, and a watch so you know after 6:30PM to use your alternate route to the garage because the main stairwell is locked. It's a good thing we had that fire drill the other week, I was pretty sure there were no exits other than those elevators that do not go to ground level. I'm also pretty sure you were drinking when you designed the garage but I'm already boring myself with this topic, so I digress. Good day.

Monday again! What is going on lately? Hmm....well I successfully did not leave my townhouse Saturday in our pursuit of doing nothing. Truth be told I have a hard time doing 'nothing' at home, there is always something to do and I have this organizational nag that turns free time into closet make-overs. Luckily, things aren't looking too bad in the closets so vacuuming and laundry kept me busy enough. Sunday is a bit of a blurl, I played Hide and Seek with my 6 y.o. and proclaimed myself the winner when she gave up on looking for me. In her small defense I had a kick-ass hiding spot no one would have found me in: suspended above the door in the storage closet under the stairs. Yes, those activities have become my weekends.

I find myself at an age where I have friends in several stages of life/family cycles. I have married friends with no kids. They can go out, but usually don't. I have married with kids friends in full family mode that go to bed at 9pm and laugh when I ask if they want to go out, I'm leaving at 10pm. I also have single friends in their 20's still that party like they're still in college, because it wasn't that long ago. I think part of my organization-minded-self likes to put people in categories like I sort my m&m's. (My kid does that too). I do that with people and their styles, but I never felt like I fit into any one category no matter what criteria I'm using. I know I'm married with kid, but I honestly don't fit firmly in the all-about family because there is only one of her, she's self-sufficient and a late sleeper. This makes me realize that 2 kids is a definite tipping point in which you've become a 'family' person. I think I will stay with one toe dipping in that pool for now for my financial benefit.

Now the holidays are approaching (yet again) and it's hard for me to grasp just yet. Where did November go honestly? I am not ready to decorate the house for Christmas, period. That is just another thing that SUCKS about being a responsible adult and parent. (I'm actually not sure I've found anything that hasn't sucked compared to being a non-responsible college-kid, but I digress...) You just never know how much effort goes into everything until you have to do it yourself. I do go a little all-out for my Halloween decorating so maybe I'm just fatigued from doing all that pretty much solo up and down, breaking out the turkey-decor, the Christmas stuff is just sooooooooooo extensive. Not like, I have a million piece outdoor nativity with talking Jesus, it's just normal indoor stuff and I'm being whiny about having to do it already. A co-worker with a 2 y.o. doesn't even get a tree (no he's not Jewish) that is just too scrugey for me, not to mention I AM at my house for the entirety of the xmas holidays. Hopefully I will have eager helper(s) or at least semi-wlling even if begrudgingly.

I'm sure I'll find my xmas spirit when the time comes. I wasn't ready for Fall at first this year, but I guess like many things, when the time arrives, you'll be ready.

Artax You Have to Fight the Sadness, Fight it!! You HAVE to Artax!!

Ah Atreyu, there just are those days when it's so much easier to lay in the mud and let the sadness take over. It's been a rough patch of hours for me. Like they say, when it rains, it pours, and it actually is doing that, literally.

I know I bring some of this on myself, or maybe I just don't fight it. I realized yesterday I was going to be in the VA office where a potluck is taking place and hence, if I want to eat, you must participate. Ok, I agreed to make cookies. I'm pretty good at the baking, I'll just have to skip out on watch my daughters Taekwando and bake. No biggy. Only that wasn't the only activity scheduled, I had to take the car in for service and leave it there for the next day's appointment.

Start of the badness: this Crisco looks like a gluestick. Is it suppossed to look like that? How old is this crap? Well, I'm melting it anyways so lets just go with it. WRONG DECISION. I commence and finish baking 2 dozen chocolate drop cookies and fill the house with a very odd smell. They look fine....make icing...taste cookie. Oh, I don't know about that. That CAN'T be right. Crap.

Call mother. Does Crisco go bad? What did it look like? A glue stick...yeah kinda clear...oh that's bad? Will it kill anybody? (consider serving to office anyways)

Miss 6 calls from husband frantic about dropping off car while walking dogs and chatting with mother. Get in car leaving half frosted poison cookies and meet at service area to drop off car. (Don't even WANT to hear what they find wrong with it today).

Force husband to try cookie although 6 y.o. clearly gagging at smell I have filled the house with. Husbands spits out cookie in trash. Give one to the dog. Sits there with uneaten cookie in mouth for extended period of time clinching the fact that these cookies are just plain unedible. Crap. Move on to plan B.

Make brownies from mix. I can't screw that up. Well, I probably could but I managed not to.

Still in work clothes at 10pm, have not eaten dinner, just go to bed.

Good morning sunshine! I attempt to wake a groggy, non-morning loving 6 y.o. with funny voices and singing from her "glove dog" I made. She promptly refuses all outfits I pick out so I give up to go make lunch knowing full well there is maybe 1 piece of bread in the house, no lunchmeat, and the cheese is a spicey kind she won't eat. No milk, no juice. She's getting a pop-tart and crystal light for breakfast. We've moved onto buying lunch today. I ice the brownies and move to a tupperware container for transport and unplug the microwave they insist they need for heating other items.

I can see we are running late already.

I have literally 10 mins to get daughter to school and I have yet to walk the dogs and put them in the kitchen with gates up and treats for amusement and move the microwave, purse, brownies, and coffee mug to the car...I mean 4x4 Jeep wrangler. It starts to rain. PERFECT.

By the time I finish the dog walk (sprint) it's pouring. I can't find the bone they love to chew on, I just saw it...

Moving microwave to jeep..pouring rain, door is locked, front seat moved back to the position blocking back seat/car booster seat. Freak out and yell for kid to come here and help with the door. FEel bad about that. Microwave goes in on end, I move the glass plate to the front seat and make a second trip to get the rest of the days junk.

Officially LATE to school. Have to park and upon opening door for child, glass plate careens to pavement smashing into several pieces. PERFECT. Still raining, no umbrella. Pick up glass, take kid to office to get tsk tsk looks.

Pouring rain still. Traffic moving about 5 mph. Leg hurts from holding clutch on/off for an hour. Have to move plastic window covered in rain water in to get ticket for garage...not certain of the clearance on the wrangler...just duck and go!

Manage to rip thumbnail off putting window back up, am now BLEEDING.

2 Trips up to move microwave and goodies. ON second elevator trip a BLIND woman (cane and all) gets in and blocks the door so I have to physically move her out of the way to get out at my stop. When does this happen in real life? At least I didn't crash the vehicle. There is hope yet for the day.

The Good, The Bad, The Fuzzy.

There is a lot of bad news these days. I usually like to catch up on what is going on, attempt to be an informed adult, but it's getting hard not to be too depressed at the contents of the daily papers. Today it's the auto dealers that want to be bailed out and while I am miffed I'm not getting a bail out from any bad financial decisions, I do get that they employ a lot of people and no one wants to lose their job. I am also reading 58% of companies expect to cancel holiday parties this year (mine and my brothers included). And although the US news isn't by any means good, the World news is even worse with pillaging and raping of small villages by soldiers in the Congo. That is about as bad as it gets. In the midst of all this suckiness I've decided to compile a small list of lifes joys that have yet to be taken away from me:

The internet. Oh joy of joys when I am with actual free time to be able to waste it viewing all the friends and former classmates I never get to see on facebook or compiling lists of things for others to buy me Christmas on my JCrew and Forever21 Wish Lists. What would I do without you all day? What did people do at work before this invention? Forget sliced bread, give me internet.

Sleep. Even when life is sucking the most, I can always count on my 600 thread count sheets and piles of hypo-allergen pillows to take me to another world that makes no sense but I have complete control over and can fly and swim with killer whales upside down in pink surf.

Weekends. As long as I have a standard job requiring me to be somewhere else not getting anything I want to do -done, I will cherish my weekends where I can stay in bed longer, not get dressed until 2pm, hang out with my daughter all day long, and do all of the things I"m not allowed to do at work (like stand on the furniture and run in the halls and make cookies and stuff). The thought of saturday in my pj's in my warm house while it's cold and frigid outside right now brings a tear to my eye. Sniff.

My puppies. As long as I am fortunate enough to be employed and covering my mortgage so far, I have the ability to feed my puppies. Yes, they chew on things they shouldn't (or did when babies), yes they steal food when I'm not looking, yes they shed, yes I have to go outside and walk them in rain, sleet, and snow....but they are still cute and fuzzy and I love them. I believe it's scientifically proven that petting your furry loved ones creates happy endorphins and we could all use more of those...I never get them from the fish. They never fail to be the first ones at the door when I get home jumping with excitement over my mere prescense. Who else does that, right? Nobody.

And I know there are many other things I can be thankful for, but this is just a small list of joys I am taking comfort in having today. They say money doesn't buy happiness but you can pretty much buy all of that so maybe that's not entirely accurate. So if you are feeling down about the state of the world, I'm sure you can find something you are happy to have, maybe something sappy like friends and family or maybe it's just your beloved iphone. Whatever it is, it's yours, enjoy it!

Thief in the Night

I must have hit a time warp and stumbled back into 6th grade because I distinctly remember leaving a turkey and cheese sandwich wrapped in pink syran wrap in the office refridgerator with a Giant brand string cheese stick on top of it....but somehow when I went to said refridgerator, it was no longer there. Huh. Now maybe Gremlins broke into the office and raided the fridge consuming my sandwich and cheesestick. Or maybe someone was testing a new ray gun and accidently vaporized it. I have a hard time believing a high-paid office employee would bypass the company purchased bagles and coffee cakes (which is why said sandwich was not eaten by ME yesterday) and STEAL someone else's homemade lunch, crouching in the corner like Smee from Lord of the Rings and greedily gulp down the evidence.

It wasn't just my food. There is also mysterious missing produce from the same time frame. Seriously people? I take time out of every morning to make my lunch and my daughters so I don't have to spend money buying it everyday. I am on a strict budget and that Horseradish Chedder is $8.29 a lb. Now, I have to sit here after a 45 min. gym workout and have NOTHING to eat because I was fully expected to eat THAT sandwich and cheesestick for lunch. Instead, I have a popcorn ball from the trick or treat bag I had at my desk yesterday to tide me over for 5 and a half more hours. THANKS DOUCHE BAG!! Why should I go spend $10 on the crap they have downstairs when clearly you couldn't be bothered to leave the office. FYI there are VENDING machines for the desperate. I hope you feel very guilty and you were too ridden with anxiety that someone would catch you in the act of stealing MY sandwich made with MY favorite Natures Own Honey Wheat bread and cut at a slight angle. I hope you're friggin allergic to Miracle Whip and break out in hives. Rude, rude, rude. I hope you see my post-it note on the fridge and feel really BAD about knowing I"m sitting over here with a growling stomach and will be ALL day because I can't AFFORD to go buy lunch. (F-ing student loans) I hope you are friggin HAPPY. And I'm sure my coworker hopes there was a worm that you didn't see until you ate half of it in her apple. You are a theif, and you make people feel violated.

Best Day EVER

I don't consider myself too into politics despite the fact I work a few blocks from the actual White House. Although I have my opinions, I didn't think I cared that much. However, this morning when I found out for absolute certainty that Obama won by an indisputable landslide and the Republicans weren't suing, claiming hanging chads, whining about the popular vote....well that just brought tears to my eyes. I have a new restored faith in our system of Democracy. The people have spoken, and really been heard.

I have previously expressed frustration over everything being so neck and neck that I was really preparing myself for the worst. I was pretty sure after the last election that it did NOT matter what way I voted that you really could buy your way in. I can not express my relief that not only was there a clear winner, but no one is disputing it. Thank you Republicans for sucking it up. You really owe us all one anyways.

I"m amazed at how happy I feel. Like maybe, just maybe, there is an actual light at the end of this tunnel. Maybe someone with actual brains is going to work for this country (not take endless vacations and ignore everything). I have something I haven't had in 8 years, hope! Oh glorious day, I have drank the Obama kool-aid and it tastes GOOD! To top off my dancing in the streets political joy -and I really may just hang out by the White house now instead of contemplating t.p.-ing it from the gate- there was an actual breakfast in the office this morning. Like eggs and meat and cheese omlet along with the bagles and cakey things. OH HAPPY DAY. OH BEST DAY EVER!!

Scared Yet?
Oh economic stimulus. I think you didn't work out so well. Not that I would say no to a check in the mail, it's just....well I still pay over $800 a month in school loans and half of my family income goes to the mortgage...I just discovered I may have to stop eatting everyday. That way at least my clothes will fit and I won't have to buy more...which sadly is one of my favorite activities.

If the whole economic crisis wasn't blazingly clear enough, it's getting more so around here. Today I missed a conference call and it was about how our company is laying off 100 brokers. Yikes. Then there was a long email about it, but really it's hard to put a positive spin on the fact they just cut 100 people pink slips 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. The guy that left from my cube row had a pregnant wife. Brokers being commission based can't even really cost the company money to keep on so I"m not really sure where they are going with this. I'm not in that particular field, but it still doesn't radiate warm fuzzies throughout the office.

In other office news, I myself probably don't come off as 'nice' most of the time. I'm really not that bitchy, (I swear!)I just know better than to create more work for myself seeing as I'm not paid per project or gold star and there are people that would jump all over the chance to get someone else to do their work. I felt kind of bad though when a person trying to be nice -who I know has crappy superiors anyways- was coming over reapeatedly with needs and I basically just handed over whatever he wanted and gave him a get lost look and went back to my other projects. Ok, that I was more just thinking aloud about when his superior basically laughed about it and said he deserved it. Ouch. I was totally right about those guys. You could not pay me enough to work on their team.....or could you? Please don't offer.

And a personal favorite office humiliation goes to my pre-procedure medical interview today. There is nothing more fun than answering questions in an open cube environment about my gastrointestinal symptoms and past medical history. I love that the adorable guy sitting behind me now knows I had a breast reduction in 1998 and I have loose stools on a daily basis. I can't think of anything LESS humiliating at this moment. You know other than publically announcing them.