Thief in the Night

I must have hit a time warp and stumbled back into 6th grade because I distinctly remember leaving a turkey and cheese sandwich wrapped in pink syran wrap in the office refridgerator with a Giant brand string cheese stick on top of it....but somehow when I went to said refridgerator, it was no longer there. Huh. Now maybe Gremlins broke into the office and raided the fridge consuming my sandwich and cheesestick. Or maybe someone was testing a new ray gun and accidently vaporized it. I have a hard time believing a high-paid office employee would bypass the company purchased bagles and coffee cakes (which is why said sandwich was not eaten by ME yesterday) and STEAL someone else's homemade lunch, crouching in the corner like Smee from Lord of the Rings and greedily gulp down the evidence.

It wasn't just my food. There is also mysterious missing produce from the same time frame. Seriously people? I take time out of every morning to make my lunch and my daughters so I don't have to spend money buying it everyday. I am on a strict budget and that Horseradish Chedder is $8.29 a lb. Now, I have to sit here after a 45 min. gym workout and have NOTHING to eat because I was fully expected to eat THAT sandwich and cheesestick for lunch. Instead, I have a popcorn ball from the trick or treat bag I had at my desk yesterday to tide me over for 5 and a half more hours. THANKS DOUCHE BAG!! Why should I go spend $10 on the crap they have downstairs when clearly you couldn't be bothered to leave the office. FYI there are VENDING machines for the desperate. I hope you feel very guilty and you were too ridden with anxiety that someone would catch you in the act of stealing MY sandwich made with MY favorite Natures Own Honey Wheat bread and cut at a slight angle. I hope you're friggin allergic to Miracle Whip and break out in hives. Rude, rude, rude. I hope you see my post-it note on the fridge and feel really BAD about knowing I"m sitting over here with a growling stomach and will be ALL day because I can't AFFORD to go buy lunch. (F-ing student loans) I hope you are friggin HAPPY. And I'm sure my coworker hopes there was a worm that you didn't see until you ate half of it in her apple. You are a theif, and you make people feel violated.