Today I'm feeling slightly inspired (and have time on my hands) for a special edition, 2-part blog post. Buckle your seatbelts, I have a lot of time!

Part 1: Strange Things I've Witnessed in DC.
This is inspired by the uniformed officer I saw blatently and completely J-WALK across 17th Street with styrofoam cup in hand, in rush hour traffic, cutting through cars stopped in said traffic. The irony hear would be I have a coworker that has been ticketed for actually j-walking. Special. Just special.

Other events include:
A african-american celebrates the Obama win by dancing in the streets and giving my car a LAP DANCE while I am stuck in traffic on K street. (I swear I could not make this up.)

A guy driving a Red High Heeled Shoe.

Being struck in the face on Pennsylvania Ave by a rogue window-washer rope.

A homeless lady beg for money and then pimp it out to some homeless dude in the park only to do it again the next day, and the next. Wearing different clothes each day and making me question the validity of 'homeless' going on there.

Buildings be torn down floor by floor exposing restrooms to the street.

A semi back up the down one-way ramp under the 12th street bridge because he suddenly realized he could not make clearance.

Halloween: A bill on Capitol Hill. (forever my favorite costume)

Homeless guy bathing in the fountain in front of the Smithsonian.

My friend Karl mount the Elephant in front of the Gallery Place Metro stop after a Christmas party.

Strangers crash our company Christmas party and then ask where the after-party is.

People wearing suits and ties or skirts/work dresses riding bikes.

Street performers get territorial and attempt to 'sabatage' the other party.

I'm sure some of you can top me, but I don't go out all that often and I'm sure there is more fun admist at night!

Part 2: A Letter to our Building Architect.
Dear Archictect,
I know we've only been in this space for 6 months, but as far as I can tell, the design of this building and it's access kind of sucks. It sucks because when I come to work the garage is a labrynth in and of itself. Some spots you have to leave your key, some you don't, some are for certain companies employees, some aren't, and there are numerous doors, stairwells, entries and exits and levels that all have different access times. It's a wonder I have not locked myself in the garage or a stairwell for more than the 4 hours I once did.
It also sucks because once I park somewhere and find some sort of portal to the upper world, it will come with an industrial staircase. There is ONE elevator servicing 3 main office buildings all attached to the ONE garage. This one and only magic elevator is hidden and impossible to find without a map and holds 4 people max and is not near any one of the 3 main office buildings. Craziness or fairness? Who knows.
It sucks because when I walk up the stairwell closest to my office building, I have to walk up 4 sets of stairs and enter some swinging metal gate that bangs loudly despite the diaper wad of duct tape on it. Nice touch. It sucks because the only way to cut down on half of those stairs is to go outside a side door and immediately back in through a different side door to access an elevator bank. Minimum doors opened : 4 plus one metal gate and 2 flights of stairs. However, the kicker is you can't avoid them on the way back because that side door you exited from can not be opened from the other side. OH what fun!! So you MUST take 4 flights of stairs down, through 4 doors and one gate on the way back no matter what.
Aparently the building access was designed with more of the metro rider in mind. Although, they are not immune to the quirks because we have to have this key card to access the doors to the office so depending on where you sit in the office, how mandatory carrying this around is. For me, i can not leave my seat without it because the bathrooms are on the outside of those magic locking doors. We've also discovered we have a great rooftop deck but although you can get out, you can't get back in. (I'm glad we tested this before just walking out completely.)
And oddly enough, you need your key card to open the garage doors once they close after hours - not your garage opener- and only the ones on K street will open at all after hours.
All in all, it's really the access in and out of this place that is a giant pain in the ass. It should at least come with some sort of pamphlet and a map to navigate, and a compass, and a watch so you know after 6:30PM to use your alternate route to the garage because the main stairwell is locked. It's a good thing we had that fire drill the other week, I was pretty sure there were no exits other than those elevators that do not go to ground level. I'm also pretty sure you were drinking when you designed the garage but I'm already boring myself with this topic, so I digress. Good day.