I think the only thing worse than pressuring yourself into having a good time on New Years, is pressuring yourself into some grand scheme of New Years Resolutions.

The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. So I ask myself, if there is something I want to change (and those who know me know I love me some change) what am I going to do differently this year? And this is the part where I spiral into a depression because the answer is NOTHING. Nothing. I am going to do nothing different that I haven't already done last year. Which stands to reason nothing different is going to happen for me.

Not to be all Sally-complainy, my life isn't all bad or anything, its just everyone wants something to look forward to, something new or exciting to possibly hover on the horizon, and I got nothing. No-thing. Even if I wanted to possibly venture off on a new career path, aside from the fact no one is hiring anywhere, I've already tried that last year and it got me diddly squat. Not one interview or maybe slightly interested from a human type email. Nothing. The fact also remains that I have at least one foot planted in adult-hood being that I am a parent of a 6-yaer old in a school district, I have a mortgage with my name on it, scads of freakin school loans to pay back monthly, and car payments. I can't exactly pack all my belongings in said car and drive off to California like my parents did before I came along to spoil their youth. I am also too poor to afford even a weeks vacation anywhere it would seem for reasons already mentioned.

So what is a girl to do? Let me ponder some things I have not done in 2008 that could possibly be applied to 2009 in an attempt to possbibly have some 'different' occur......this might hurt.

1. Be a positive person (ha ha ha, that's not going to happen!)
2. Focus less on ME and more on the family (yes this is sucking)
3. ......

I can't do this. This is why I usually ignore the whole aspect of resolutions, I should tell my boss I don't believe in her whole 'goals' for the coming year either and it goes against my religion. If there was anything I could think of to make my life better or easier, I'm pretty sure I would have done it already. Maybe it would be easier to make a list of stupid things I did in 2008 and just not do those. Yes, I'll work on that for next time. I think I feel less depressed about that notion. Ciao.