I had something I wanted to blog about, but that seems to have escaped me so it is time for some more rambling. Pet peeves. I think I am one of the most tolerable people I know. Maybe that's not entirely accurate, I just get internally pissed off and dont' do anything about it. One of my biggest pet peeves is when co-workers insist on inquiring about food you are eating. Look, I have a self-consiciousness about being judged by what I consume, but it's also needless 'small talk' and really usually dumb and obvious. And no, I don't like sharing either. Nevertheless, without fail I will be in the kitchen area, by myself, and someone will walk in and mutter something along the lines of;
"What's for lunch?" or "What do you have there?" "Whatcha eating?" or the more blatent "What is that?" None of your goddam business. 90% of the time it's something so obvious I want to tell them something completely off. Today it was "What's for lunch?" and I really don't know how to respond sometimes without sounding like an ass, because what I'm having for lunch is not what you're having for lunch. So instead of saying anything, I said nothing but just to smooth out ignoring her completely I threw in a "how's your day going?" not that I cared a bit. Just so you're not dying of curiousity it was speghetti, a fairly obvious dish. I should have said peanut butter and jelly.
Another pet peeve of mine is personal space. I like a lot of it, I bet you're surprised. Some people just don't have that need. It's not usually a problem, I let it go in the metro when we're all squished in like sardines, but if I"m at the grocery store you don't need to stand ON my sneakers, you'll get there eventually buddy. ATM lines are also ackward because you could end up on the sidewalk/street sometimes. Why exactly to they have brail on the drive up ATM's anyways? Just wondering.
Well this week has been pretty blurry thanks to all the allergies and drugs. I have decided I'll just stop taking things and see how I"m doing. So far, so good. I felt so drunk yesterday I didn't like it despite the fact it completely eradicated my appetite which I often wish there was a pill for. Dont' get me wrong, I like food, there are plenty of things I find pleasurable to eat, but there are also times when I just don't want to eat and the whole hunger thing is more annoying than anything else because I know I could stand to lose a few but my body doesn't want to let it go.
I'll say my final pet peeve of the day is obligations. I like doing nice things for people, but I hate feeling obligated -especially when it's ponying up money for people I don't know that well. Is there any end to asking for money at work? Baby showers, bridal showers, birthdays, xmas, it's always something. I wish I had more money and could do more really, but my husband hasn't brought home a paycheck this year and I'm a little tapped out. He's wearing on me as well with his constant whining about wanting to buy food. I can honestly say I would weigh 20 lbs less if I lived by myself. I would buy groceries like once a month tops and wait til there was not a scratch left in the cupboard (i'm a pretty creative cooker) before I bought more. But, I have little rug rat and I feel bad not buying things like milk, cereal, eggs, and bread. She hardly ever eats either. I'm a little off topic, I just feel bad because they are collecting money for the secruity guards new baby and I have none, 2 good friends are pregnant and I wish I could do more for them...I will volunteer to babysit though. I wiggle my way out of making a monetary contribution to my boss because she gave us a little (I do me little) gift card and it just felt like a dumb money exchange. I'll save that for the holiday bitch session though.
I'm so not a materialistic person (though I do like clothes/shoes) but I am feeling strained because my salary doesn't even cover my bills without eating or shopping or buying gas (i'm sure you can insert your own sarcasm here). I could do without cable and internet myself, but the freeloading husband whines he needs it for work- the internet anyways. His bills far exceed my own I'd also like to point out. The idea of booting him completey gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. The little one might object though. Again, I think I'm far too tolerant.