Social Experiments

So, I certainly don't claim to ever have a single clue how people function or what people are thinking when they do things. I feel like not having taken psych in college has put me at a certain disadvantage, or at the very least I feel like i could be better informed as to the normal functions of the human mind. At least I'd have something to compare it to when people do things that boggle me. Or maybe I'd know how I'm suppossed to react in certain situations, or I'd have a list of clinical sounding excuses for my own bad behavior. That being said, I know nothing about psychology and I don't think I've learned enough on my own observations of human behavior either.

I've been reading this book (The Boyfriend List) which is written from a 15 y.o.'s perspective and I really feel for her and her HS drama recalling how everything was such a HUGE deal, everyone knew everything about everyone, and everyone was so insecure and worried about their popularity above being a decent human being. This poor girl says what people want to hear all the time and eventually starts having anxiety attacks. Sadly, I think I probably am more like her than I'd like to admit. When do I really say what I mean? I'm still so concerned with what other people might say or do, I almost always just say what I think people want to hear. I avoid confrontation like it's my job -which it's not. I used to think people were just over reacting when they claimed 'anxiety attack' until I actually had one. I guarantee 100% that could have been avoided if I'd just spoken my mind or gone ahead with the verbal confrontation surrounding the issue. I'd like to say i've learned from that, but not really. I still say nothing when I should say something. I know why, but that's an even longer story.

Getting a bit off track. The book also talked about how they'd write things down in a notebook that they'd learned about the opposite sex. That sounds like the smartest idea I've ever heard. And they collaborated with her 3 best friends so I really think they were on to something. A study in behavoir, boy behavoir of the human kind. I mean, really, even as an adult, I just don't get that and I'd like a manual sometimes. I have my own social experiments. I'll be IM-ing 2 people and I'll say the exact same thing (copy paste) to gauge their different reactions. There are standard reponses for certain questions. If I had all day I could probably learn a lot more. Sometimes I make things up to see how people react to new information. I know that I withhold information a lot too. I should stop doing this, and I don't even know why I do that. Probably to avoid any negative reactions. And in case you're wondering, I have been to a therapist. Several. None of them quite worked out.