ANGER and Dissent on a Monday.

Shocking right? Who would be in a bad mood on a Monday? Not my snarky 6 year old who greets me with an attitude filled "I'm not getting up or going to school today." first thing off the bat. We are not morning people. I can do without the attitude though. Everyday actually. So far, that was about the most cheer I've gotten really today.

I have 9 emails I refuse to touch. One of those on-going issues that refuses to resolve, but only evolve into more complicated problems and balloon itself from minor to major pain in the ass. IT's also coming from a major pain in the ass who then sends comments like "logo looks like dog-doo" on something I did not even put together so take it up with SOMEONE ELSE. Ugh. Hate-er-rate.

It's all been sliding downhill. I suspect that the small decline in my euphoria-get-it-done medication is partly to blame for my increase in tiredness/irritation (more me) and decrease in happiness/energy (all steroids). The other collection of crap I am refusing to do til later would be things I do over and over and over again anyways because people can't make up their freakin minds about anything.

It just seemed like the weekend was FAR too brief. It was a lovely weekend. It was just me and the offspring putzing around doing what I wanted to do free of interuptions or other agendas. I did what I always do when presented with large blocks of time: rearrange shit. Yes, it lights me up like a bleepin xmas tree to move furniture around, change linens, and generally reorganize things. I used attachments on my vacuum that never get used. I cleaned windowsills of the dirt rain brings in. I cleaned cieling fans, bathed dogs, drilled things into walls, leveled, used mollies, dog out stuff from under the steps storage (Tim if you freakin bury the gift wrap box again I will slay you in your sleep), and I SEWED. This is a big deal b/c (a) I was DRUNK and (b) I barely remember doing it. Oh yes, I have discovered a new level of drunk:

The pathetic Suburbanite Drunk.
This can be described as getting drunk either in social situation among suburbanite neighbors or the lower rung of drinking solo while surrounded by small children but must be done in the mid-afternoon and is not beer. Hard alcohol or wine will do. Upon getting wasted you will then go about your suburbanite activities such as doing laundry, walking dogs, changing sheets, SEWING projects, dusting, vacuuming, dishes, etc. only once you've sobered up enough to realize what the hell time it is you won't remember doing anything and will hence be pleasantly surprised at the amount of crap a slightly tipsy person can accomplish in the light of day.

Such was my case when after 3 (maybe 4) glasses of chardoney at the 4pm birthday party I really didn't want to accompany my child to, we meandered home around 6pm...there were some cleaning activities....and after I put the kid to bed (hope I fed her dinner?) and watched "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" I discovered there were clean sheets on my bed (?) piles of clean laundry (?) a newly made doggy bed (?) and I'd gotten out poles and dusters and cleaned off not only the cieling fan, the adjacent walls, but vacuumed for at least the third time that day. Immediately I picture the colorful photographs of a Chelsea, NY art gallery with martini holding mothers in bright pink outfits and headbands on plastic patios with garden hoses, beautiful children and sad faces.