Real Medicine

See that right there? I'm going to need lots of that. In my search of such lovely imagery I also found this:


What's that? Chocolate "Hiballs" filled with Scotch and Vodka? Say it isn't so. K HIBALLS from K Chocolatier and Diane Krön are filled with Blue Label Scotch and Ketel One Vodka. Now you are talking. I'll have to go home and carve out the easter bunnys' head and give that little combo a try. Nothing says 'responsible adult' like getting trashed in front of your kid while simultaneously shanghai-ing their Easter candy.

What is my deal this time you wonder? My hair is falling out. Not a metaphoric word-play distress way; a literal comb it and it's still in there when you move your arm away from your body way. Lots and lots of it. This would be the work of an evil steroid known as prednisone. Do not take this drug. EVER. I don't care what miracles it cures, it makes your face fat, and when you try and go off it, all your hair falls out. Ok, maybe not ALL of it, yet, but I've seriously shed half of my volume I swear. I have a scheduled haircut I've been looking forward to but I'm not sure if I'll have any left to cut. Now I have more reasons not to look at the mirror. I was using that hair, I'm really quite pissed that there was no verbal warning of all these crappy side-effects. Googling this drug yeilded many unhappy customers as well. I literally felt sick over their stories.

Now I do feel bad for giving my hair crap over the past few weeks for its' frizziness and non-compliance when it came to styling becauase -sniff- at least it was all THERE. Now I have a new beef.

Dear Gastroenterologist,
How could you do this to me? I feel like a victim. I came to you to FIX my problem. My small problem of gargling digestive issues. You put me through procedures and put me on drugs and took 12 of my vacation days away while I sat in the HOSPITAL. I think I would rather have my old problems back and the not really knowing what the heck it wrong then to have scheduled intravenous treatments, no hair, fat face, AND gargly digestive issues. YOU SUCK. You didn't fix anything!! I'm not BETTER. This is NOT BETTER. This is WORSE. If you had asked me do you want to have digestive issues or be fat and bald I'd have gone with the first one. I think most GIRLS would. I know you are not sporting much hair up there and maybe you don't understand but this is a HUGE deal to me. When Brittany Spears shaved her head at least she still had a normal face. And money for wigs and extensions. I don't think the Hannah Montana wig my 6 year old has is really going to fool anybody. This is BAD. VERY BAD. Thanks a friggin LOT. I hope you get herpes from someone.